I’ve decided to just get it over with and rather than slowly filtering in all the nicknames I have for the lovely girls of H!P, I’m just going to list them in this entry. This is a lot easier than explaining the origin of a random nickname or character trait that I’ve given to a particular girl when I’m writing about something totally different. You are probably already familiar with nicknames like Nutjob (Kusumi Koharu) or Winky (Tanaka Reina) if you’ve read my blog at all. Well there are more, I just haven’t had a chance to use them all.
Admittedly, I don’t have a particular thing for every single girl, but this way, when I do, I can add it in. And I can start using nicknames rather than looking up the name each time. YAY for self-indulgence and cabin fever! I decided to do this partly because I’m stuck inside on a rainy day-off, but also because I recently milked my ‘Risako-sucks-diamonds’ inside-joke for a Berryz pv picspam. I didn’t explain that one at all.
Confused and a little outraged? Yeah, that feeling will probably last a little while longer if you keep on reading. Look at this lovely pic of Berryz at the aquarium to calm you down.
The Obligatory Disclaimer: This is humour, not malice. Relax. I love so I mock. It’s my way.
Let’s get the kidz out of the way first. These are the girls I am least familiar with and have only developed an opinion about based on things like how they are in PVs and the occasional concert performance. As I’ve said, Momusu will always be the group I follow closely and the rest probably won’t ever be as close to my heart. Am I the only blogger that still cherishes Morning Musume in all its forms?
I’ve also been known to call her “dead fish” because there are times it looks like she just cannot be arsed. Risako is interesting to me because it’s one of those cases in which I love her vocals, but am irritated by her persona. She has this way of pursing her lips and looking down her nose that makes me think of a rich person with diamonds on her clothing. Hence me yelling at a pv once that she should just, “go suck a diamond!”
Yes, I am the type to yell at the computer or tv. It’s just how I roll.
The whole diamond thing stuck and since I’ve never really featured Berryz on this blog, I didn’t really have any place to use it. I wish she didn’t have to look miserable in so many of her photos and that she didn’t feel that being aloof and cool means staring down her enormous nostrils at you. It’s unfortunate because she’s quite pretty and I love her voice.
Come on now, Berryz fans. I cannot be the only one who thinks this girl is completely insane. I love her voice in Buono (in Berryz, meh), but that ‘look-here’s-all-my-teeth’ grin and constant giddiness just makes me so nervous…
As far as nicknames go, I just call her Momo. She’s somewhere between adorable and crazy for me. That’s why seeing her gassing someone both in the pv for MY BOY and in the Buono dvd just made me cringe.
She loves it too…you can tell she’s getting her fork ready.
I couldn’t just call her “horse-face”.
That would be wrong.
No, instead I make it even worse by implying that what she is working towards each night is her bag of oats the producers give her for all that hard work impersonating a human girl…Yep, I just go, “Oatbag‘s here!”
*dodges flying objects*
Ok, calm down.
Yes, she has a great voice, great presence, whatever.
But she is blessed with one of those ‘interesting’ faces. At some angles, this face is gorgeous, but at others, this face can be downright weird looking. It’s quite oval and very long. Long like the face of a horse…I’m not saying she’s ugly, just that she’s got that long face… I opted for this instead of “horse-face”, cause like I said, she’s not ugly, just…long.
Yurina is tall.
Why, so tall that she could RULE THE WORLD…
but she just doesn’t feel like it right now.
Look at that innocent face.
DON’T BE FOOLED!
ALL MUST BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY KUMAI!!
She accepts applause with the grace of a true queen…
But you just make sure you watch yo’self!
At present I have no nicknames for her because she is the one (and there is always one) whose name I can never remember. Ever. I even forget she’s there. It’s just like what happened with Reina before all the annoying, except this one doesn’t wink or sound like a squirrel.
In fact, she’s completely adorable.
I think she’s hit that point in every (or almost every) H!P girl’s career where she suddenly realizes how awesome she is and that confidence transforms her. Every time she pops up in a pv she’s a pleasant surprise to me.
I wish I noticed her more in concerts though. So far, I have no name for her except, “Oh yeah, that one!” and then I squee for a couple minutes cause she’s just so cute.
Captain just suits her in every way. So much so that to this day I still don’t know what her actual name is. It doesn’t even matter.
She just seems like the nicest girl in the world. And even though she’s so small, she can BRING IT. If she ever gets a line.
Which she often doesn’t.
But I watch her in dance-shots. And man…
I wish I could say more.
YAY for Captain!!
Is her name Saki?
Nah, we’ll go with Captain.
I can honestly say I adore her. I wanted to include a pic that showcased that brilliant awesome-hardcore-happy smile where she looks like she’s just delighted with everything on earth, but I’m a sucker for plaid.
Why do I love this look so much?
She’s another unsung hero of H!P, probably capable of a lot but placed in the back. Even so, she has that mega-happy smile. I always love that. I can’t forget that she played Munasawagi Scarlet on guitar for a fanclub tour giving her additional awesome points. I know others can probably play instruments, but we never, ever see it.
Then ms. Hardcore completely pwned everyone on Yorosen when she conducted a pingpong tournament. She proceeded to badger them into enthusiasm, scaring everyone and then beating all her opponents. With war-cries and everything.
Here is just one example of the yelling, as she got more and more pumped up:
Maasa = win.
Maimi – Flaily
Now I love it when Maimi dances, but some times those limbs are just everywhere at once. Some times it’s really awesome and catches my eye and makes me squee, but other times, she just looks like she’s putting forth way too much. My neck hurts some times when I watch her. They need to have another sports fest so she can get rid of some of this pent up energy.
I really had to search to come up with something here. In fact, I’m constantly whining about how listless the dancing in H!P can be, so frankly I love her Yasuda-esque sharpness. I love that there is at least one performer who will go for it, even if everyone else is taking it easy.
Although, you should take this with a grain of salt. I’m hardly a dancer myself. All I know is, flaily should keep on flailing.
Whenever I watch Chompy, it looks like keeping her mouth closed is extremely difficult for her. So often it’s hanging open. This coupled with her big, wide eyes and slight overbite?
I just feel like she’s struggling.
It’s ok Chompy. You can leave your mouth open! We’ll just get you a towel and I’ll look away…
Some times she looks so awesome, but then that same problem pops up again: that very deliberate closing of the mouth that just makes you want to make a “chomp” sound effect (if you’re me, and far too silly).
It’s not as if she’s the only one. Ogawa Makoto had a similar problem and she managed.
Of course, she didn’t have that high-pitched, nasally voice…
Not a fan. Not at all.
This is not another one of those age-ism things where I don’t care for her simply because she’s a freakin’ child (which she IS) and I have no other reasons.
Yes, that cute little kid thing is her thing
But I don’t buy it.
And she can sing
But I don’t really like it that much.
By all means, tell me why she’s so awesome. I don’t get it.
I’ll just call her variations of freakin’ child.
For whatever reason, I always add one more ‘ri’ to her name. It quite exasperates my brother. Therefore I MUST USE IT FOREVER.
I know we all whine that she gets too many lines and so on, but the girl can sing. I mean really, REALLY sing. Her voice is so easy on the ears.
And, hey, she still has her baby-teeth fangs.
I think she’s also gone through that ‘hey-I’m-actually-awesome’ moment because lately she has pretty much blown me away. She has always been a good singer (Aa! anyone?) but I find I’m noticing her in every way now.
Bravo Bravo is my latest example. She looks and sounds great and she basically makes love to that camera.
In a kid way.
Cause yeah – they’re all freakin’ kids.
(Last time. I promise.)
This would be “the hair” but in katakana. I didn’t take much notice of her before, but it’s that hairstyle from FOREVER LOVE that did it. That and her almost constant smirk.
Or is it an ironic sort of smile?
Is she planning something devious?
Does she simply think she’s ‘ZA’ awesome?
Forget that hairstyle, Chisato is another unsung hero of H!P, getting almost no lines, despite having quite a powerful voice. Actually I find her vocals very soothing. They remind me of Yasuda’s for some reason, that same smooth softness, despite the power.
That and she’s so outspoken. She’s like an eager, eleven-year old boy, trying to argue you into something.
Her hair pwns all.
(I wrote a lot less for them because I write about them all the time. Because I wrote less, I used bigger pics. That’s the only reason…That and my extreme bias against all other groups within H!P and my secret plan to use all the Eggs and the kidz to power a machine that will…ah, I’ve said too much.)
Takahashi – Leader
Niigaki – Mame
Because even now, her head is still small as a bean, just like Mari once said.
Kamei – …Eri
Yeah, I’ve got nothing for her yet. Isn’t she adorable?
Reina – Winky
We’re sticking with this one, because she refuses to stop winking and it takes too long to write out ‘annoyingsidefrosquirrelwhowon’tgoaway’ every single time.
Michishige – Shige
She hates this nickname. That’s why she’s making fists at me.
Sorry, you don’t scare me, muffin.
Mitsui – Granny
Because she still has that closed-eyes smile and drawling, nasal way of talking that just evokes granny to me. She’s truly unique in that she destroys me with her cuteness and seems so bratty at times and then will turn around and just seem so reserved and mature, like she has an old soul. I really wish I knew more of her.
Junjun – J.J
I just like this one. Fairly simple, but I think it suits her.
Linlin – …Linlin.
I have nothing for her yet, except to say how much I always want to give her a big hug.
So let’s do a small review:
Risako the Diamond Sucker, Momo the cannibal, Oatbag, Giant Kumai, Chinami, Captain and Hardcore Maasa (the awesome-happy)
Flaily, Chompy, Brat, Aiririri and Za Heya
Leader, Mame, Eri, Winky, Shige, Granny, J.J and Linlin (who I want to hug to bits)
I’ll be using these from now on and adding to this entry as I need to. Aren’t esoteric jokes fun?